The annual traditional family Christmas lunch is on again at
your parent’s house. You are a little excited and a little apprehensive about
going because these family gatherings have a habit of taking their own course.
The problem is that the course is predictably unpredictable but you know that
there will be some kind of controversy because.... well.... because there
always is!
You arrive at your parents house and the usual cheerful
greetings are exchanged and you are
thinking to yourself; “if only things would be like this all the time”.
Somebody suggests “let’s all have a
drink” (something with alcohol in it of course - after all it is Christmas! The
merriment's begin and some members equal their annual intake of alcohol by the
time lunch comes around –after all it is Christmas ! Now its effects are
interfering with the part of the brain that governs our self control. Some
members have dropped their inhibitions and are now more prone to saying what they
really think instead of what they would normally say when they were sober. So
the dreaded inevitable happens; your sister in-law makes an intended light
hearted joke about you, however; the joke is heavily flavoured with sarcasm.
Your slightly inebriated uncontrolled self reacts
and bights back and so the afternoon deteriorates into another awkward family
gathering.
Stop the Press !!
It doesn't have to be like this!
Go back to; an intended light hearted joke is heavily
flavoured with sarcasm. Now lets create a different outcome – an outcome where
you stay in your personal power and don’t
react.
If you react you will
get sucked into the negative energy and will become a part of it.
Would you like to be able to create a different and more
positive outcome that makes you feel like the day was a winner? After all it is
Christmas!
You could;
Option 1; Bite your tongue (not say anything) but that does
not deal with the anger you are feeling.
Option 2; You could send them love – that always helps
because the energy of love will have some positive effect on them. It also gets
you into a better frame of mind.
Option 3; You can do
this exercise. (This is the one that I find is the most empowering).
Don’t
react – instead Observe yourself
without judgement. This brings the focus onto yourself and away from what’s
being said or what’s going on around you. Don’t be hard on yourself –just love
and accept yourself in the moment. Acknowledge how you feel; are you sad,
angry, hurt, revengeful etc.
Communicate with yourself (self talk). You
are coming from a higher part of your mind when you observe yourself. The higher levels of your mind carry a lot more wisdom and aren't reactive because they are not attached to your
emotions and feelings thus they are a lot more rational and logical. Tell
yourself that it is okay to feel hurt or whatever. Re-assure yourself that you
are much better person than the reactive one that wants to engage the sister
in-law on a negative level. This puts you in charge rather than being controlled
by outside forces (i.e. sister in-law). When you are negatively reactive then
you have actually given your power away to the other person which has the
effect of them having power over you.
When you concentrate on yourself and become
greater than the temptation to react then notice how good you feel for staying
in your personal power. If you can get through this initial stage then you will
be encouraged to stay in your power throughout the day. Watch the whole day
unfold as the family members play out their place in the family’s hierarchical
structure – just like watching a movie. Now that’s an enjoyably empowering
Christmas.....
Happy Christmas to you...
David Lane
Please click through to my website for more information on achieving Personal Power.
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Please click through to my website for more information on achieving Personal Power.
Let's get Social:
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Connect on Linkedin